Anger management can work
A global Christian organization exhibited it last week
Do you know any people who explode into angry behavior outbursts before they even realize what happened?
In my early years, I would scream, throw something, or kick a wall when I became upset. Sometimes I would rush to my bed and start pounding a pillow before I could harm myself or anything else.
We may feel that our immediate reactions are instinctive and involuntary, but that does not excuse us. They are still our reactions and they exhibit our sinfulness. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). Or in my case, out of my heart I kick a wall.
But a commitment to spiritual formation can make a difference. By God’s grace, it has done so for me. Thirty years later, I no longer have temper tantrums. When someone at church made what I considered an unreasonable request this week, I simply acknowledged it and didn’t snap back. Each time I’ve experienced verbal abuse or intimidation in my homeowner community over the last few years, I’ve remained calm or walked away.
This topic is on my mind because last week I watched a global Christian organization exhibit good anger management.
For the last six months, the World Evangelical Alliance has been under attack by a group of Korean Christians. The critics have raised some legitimate issues on which thoughtful evangelicals differ, such as what degree of cooperation with the Vatican is appropriate. But they have also circulated baseless accusations, such as repeatedly claiming (with no evidence) that the WEA’s board chair is connected to the dubious New Apostolic Reformation movement, or that a WEA leader has somehow compromised the gospel by effectively negotiating opportunities for evangelicals under a Muslim government.
These attacks have received little media attention, except for several articles in Christian Daily, which is not a disinterested party in the conflict.
For months, the WEA has exercised restraint and not responded to the accusations. I believe that was a wise move. Constructive criticism always merits consideration and response, but this is an instance of destructive criticism designed to tear down an organization, not improve it. Responding to such attacks just draws more attention to the negative story and distracts an organization from what it should be doing.
But last week, the attacks reached a point where silence was virtually impossible, as Christian Daily published an article citing additional creative claims by an anonymous “whistleblower.” Various people were asking the WEA to respond, and the extent and intensity of the complaints had escalated to the point at which coverage by other news outlets was possible.
Based on my political background, I would have tended toward a forceful response, dissecting the adversary’s credibility. The WEA chose a much more gracious route, patiently explaining some of its actions and showing respect for the Koreans’ concern.
The WEA’s public statement embodied the good advice I received from a Christian leader many years ago. He told me that when criticized, instead of lashing out, one should ask oneself two questions: (1) whether they are right, and (2) if they are wrong, what might have led them to make the criticism. This helps us find ways to defuse conflict or resolve misunderstanding.
The WEA’s response is not likely to silence its critics, but it does illustrate a sincere desire to sustain Christian unity and an openness to hearing other views.
I am grateful to God that I have good anger management now. I do not have a simple prescription for others on how to get there, but I know that one must treat the heart, not the symptoms. In my case, cultivating a spirit of reflectiveness and mutual understanding enables me not to respond rashly to a contentious comment or message. Responses formulated after reflection and consultation are more sensitive and less likely to aggravate a difficult situation.