This post is a surprise
And if you read it, you'll learn to surprise those whom you love
A horse and rider posing at Monument Valley, Utah, USA, an iconic location where many Western movies were filmed.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. —Philippians 2:3–4
For many in the northern hemisphere, summer is a time for travel and revitalization. For Nancy and me, travel has played a special role in our marriage. This post may cause you to laugh at some of the things we have done for each other, but we hope it will inspire you to serve your spouse or other people in similar ways.
(Note: I’m not ignoring singles. A post featuring an expert on Christian singlehood is in development.)
We entered marriage with a strong commitment to putting each other first. One way in which we did this was by planning surprise trips for each other’s birthdays. The main purpose was to ensure that we reserved two full weekends a year for strengthening our marriage. But it also became a way for each of us to treasure each other by our selection of destinations. Each of us arranged visits that were important for the other person, not ourselves.
And we didn’t just pick each other’s favorite restaurants. Here are a few more creative examples.
When Nancy was preparing to work with people who have visual impairments, I arranged a surprise visit to a special school for blind students.
Knowing my interest in the relationship between religion and politics, Nancy took me to a national historic site that describes the biblical motivations of a famous antislavery crusader.
While Nancy was playing flute in two local orchestras, I took her to Washington, DC for a concert by Jean-Pierre Rampal, then the world’s best-known flutist.
When I became a congressional aide, I wanted to learn more about how other offices did their work. So Nancy secretly arranged a visit to another congressman’s office—hardly a typical tourist stop, but she knew I’d be grateful—and waited patiently for two hours while I talked with their staff.
In recent years, Nancy has agreed to be surprised even on our main summer vacations. For me, leaving on a long trip with no idea where I was going would cause great discomfort. But Nancy trusts me. Sometimes she gives me a list of experiences she’d like (a hot tub, a beach, a music festival, etc.) and lets me figure out how to fit them into the schedule.
On one trip, I tested Nancy’s tolerance by saying I would take her to a special location, but that it would include eating at an “Indian restaurant.” I like Indian foot but Nancy does not, so she felt reluctant. What she didn’t realize was that in this case “Indian” meant native American. I was taking her to the famous Monument Valley park, operated by the Navajo Indian tribe.
The vehicles in this photo give a sense of proportion, enabling you to grasp the size of Monument Valley.
Sometimes I add suspense by giving Nancy clues to where we are going. Usually the clues are silly and undecipherable, but occasionally they are too easy. When I told her we were going to have a “sweet time” on one weekend trip, she identified the destination immediately. Would you have guessed where you were going? Answer below.
Our time investment in providing memorable experiences for each other has sustained our love through many strains.
Answer to clue: We had a “sweet time” in Hershey, Pennsylvania, home of the Hershey chocolate company.
Ways to provide surprises if you don’t have much money
For those who have limited disposable income or opportunity to travel, I want to suggest a few ways to apply this post that don’t require much money.
We became campers in 1987 to reduce the cost of accommodations. This summer, every night of our vacation will be spent visiting friends or sleeping in a tent.
We usually take much of our own food with us.
We look for no-cost or low-cost activities such as national parks, hiking, or community festivals. Of the four memorable destinations described earlier in this post, three were free.
If you can’t travel far, some of the best surprises are gifts of time—like offering to do a household task you don’t usually perform, or just playing with the children for an evening.
May you give someone a special joy this weekend.